Abuse is defined as “any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, or manipulation.” Emotional abuse (also called Psychological Abuse) is an often overlooked type of coercion that can have debilitating traumatizing effects on its young victims.
Emotional abuse can be overt, such as intimidation, threats, verbal abuse, berating, belittling, or constant yelling. Or it can be more subtle, such as neglectful behavior, manipulative withdrawal of affection, or repeated disapproval.
In any case, emotional abuse eventually corrodes a child’s self-confidence and self-trust, leaving them in judgment of their perceptions and at the mercy of the abuser. Emotional abuse can cut to the very core of a child’s psyche, leaving them confused, scared, and damaged in ways that can ultimately be even more traumatizing than those of physical abuse.
National Child Protection Clearinghouse refers to emotional abuse as “the hidden form of maltreatment.” With child victims of emotional abuse, parents or caregivers are obviously the most common abusers.
It’s important to note that emotional abuse goes beyond verbal abuse. Emotional abuse can impact a child’s self-worth and is a basic threat to their healthy human development. And, because it can be one of the most difficult types of abuse to detect, its malignant effects are insidious.
Ways that emotional abuse can manifest
(source: www.findcounseling.com)
- Belittling
- Coldness
- Corrupting or exploiting
- Cruelty
- Extreme Inconsistency
- Harassment
- Ignoring
- Inappropriate Control – lack of control, over control, and inconsistent control
- Isolating
- Rejecting
- Terrorizing
How does emotional abuse impact a child?
Emotional abuse has an impact on a child’s cognitive, emotional, psychological and social development.
Typical behavioral changes may include:
- Withdrawal
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Aggressive behavior
The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) has this to say about how the effects of emotional abuse can have a powerful hold on victims: “… the effects are damaging and long lasting. They can lead to serious behavioral, learning, emotional or mental disorders. All of which affect the child’s chances of developing into a healthy, well-adjusted adult.”
AmericanHumane.org says, “Although the visible signs of emotional abuse in children can be difficult to detect, the hidden scars of this type of abuse manifest in numerous behavioral ways, including insecurity, poor self-esteem, destructive behavior, angry acts (such as fire setting and animal cruelty), withdrawal, poor development of basic skills, alcohol or drug abuse, suicide, difficulty forming relationships and unstable job histories.”
Not all bad days constitute emotional abuse
All parents have their bad days. The occasional negative attitude or action does not make for an abusive caregiver. Emotional abuse is based on a pattern of behavior that takes place over at least a one-year period of time, and often in conjunction with other types of abuse. However, it’s when emotional abuse is found in isolation that it can be truly dangerous, because it is inherently hard to identify… and to handle legally. Because issues surrounding emotional abuse can seem open to interpretation, they can be hard to pinpoint and remedy.
Just like with sexual abuse, most parents who abuse their children emotionally were themselves emotionally abused as children. This is why it’s important that adults who believe they were emotionally abused as children seek counseling in order to thwart the pattern before they unwillingly repeat it with their own children and loved ones.
