Emotional abuse can be overt, such as intimidation, threats, verbal abuse, berating, belittling, or constant yelling. Or it can be more subtle, such as neglectful behavior, manipulative withdrawal of affection, or repeated disapproval.

In any case, emotional abuse eventually corrodes a child’s self-confidence and self-trust, leaving them in judgment of their perceptions and at the mercy of the abuser. Emotional abuse can cut to the very core of a child’s psyche, leaving them confused, scared, and damaged in ways that can ultimately be even more traumatizing than those of physical abuse.

National Child Protection Clearinghouse refers to emotional abuse as “the hidden form of maltreatment.” With child victims of emotional abuse, parents or caregivers are obviously the most common abusers.

It’s important to note that emotional abuse goes beyond verbal abuse. Emotional abuse can impact a child’s self-worth and is a basic threat to their healthy human development. And, because it can be one of the most difficult types of abuse to detect, its malignant effects are insidious.

Ways that emotional abuse can manifest
(source: www.findcounseling.com)

• Belittling
• Coldness
• Corrupting or exploiting
• Cruelty
• Extreme Inconsistency
• Harassment
• Ignoring
• Inappropriate Control – lack of control, over control, and inconsistent control
• Isolating
• Rejecting
• Terrorizing

How does emotional abuse impact a child?

Emotional abuse has an impact on a child’s cognitive, emotional, psychological and social development.

Typical behavioral changes may include:

• Withdrawal
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Aggressive behavior

The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) has this to say about how the effects of emotional abuse can have a powerful hold on victims: “… the effects are damaging and long lasting. They can lead to serious behavioral, learning, emotional or mental disorders. All of which affect the child’s chances of developing into a healthy, well-adjusted adult.”

AmericanHumane.org says, “Although the visible signs of emotional abuse in children can be difficult to detect, the hidden scars of this type of abuse manifest in numerous behavioral ways, including insecurity, poor self-esteem, destructive behavior, angry acts (such as fire setting and animal cruelty), withdrawal, poor development of basic skills, alcohol or drug abuse, suicide, difficulty forming relationships and unstable job histories.”

Not all bad days constitute emotional abuse

All parents have their bad days. The occasional negative attitude or action does not make for an abusive caregiver. Emotional abuse is based on a pattern of behavior that takes place over at least a one-year period of time, and often in conjunction with other types of abuse.  However, it’s when emotional abuse is found in isolation that it can be truly dangerous, because it is inherently hard to identify… and to handle legally. Because issues surrounding emotional abuse can seem open to interpretation, they can be hard to pinpoint and remedy.

Just like with sexual abuse, most parents who abuse their children emotionally were themselves emotionally abused as children. This is why it’s important that adults who believe they were emotionally abused as children seek counseling in order to thwart the pattern before they unwillingly repeat it with their own children and loved ones.

Trauma has occurred when symptoms have developed and have become visible. One type of trauma results from natural disasters such as earthquakes, tornados or hurricanes, forest fires, floods, volcanic eruptions, landslides, or tsunamis. These types of experiences are particularly insidious because they tend to traumatize large populations of people at once, and can result in epidemics of Survivor Guilt along with other PTSD symptoms.

Like many causes of trauma, natural disasters can be sudden and overwhelming. The most immediate and typical reaction to a calamity is shock, which at first manifests as numbness or denial. Quickly—or eventually—shock can give way to an overemotional state that often includes high levels of anxiety, guilt or depression.

If victims have lost their loved ones or their homes, they may feel helpless. This can be exacerbated if they have to live in shelters without support from relatives or friends for extended time periods. However, living with other survivors can be a time to reconnect, talk about the event with others, and help to reframe the event. Being able to help another survivor can reduce helplessness, and may start the healing process.

Natural disasters in particular can bring victims a feeling of being betrayed by “their god,” which can result in a loss of faith.  Making peace with “the divine” might be one step toward healing and gaining faith back.

It’s hard to predict when PTSD will set in with a survivor of a traumatic natural disaster. Some victims seem at first perfectly (or even abnormally) fine, only to be beset with symptoms later on.  Survivors are recommended to seek professional guidance if they find themselves unable to regain control of their lives or if they continue to suffer from PTSD symptoms for more than a month.

Victims do not need to have experienced a disaster firsthand in order to suffer from PTSD. As an example, an emigrant from Haiti living abroad at the time of the recent earthquake could be profoundly affected by the countless hours of television coverage of the disaster, especially if they still had family living in Haiti at the time of the event who they were unable to contact or gain information about.

It’s very important with natural disaster trauma that the victim give himself time to heal and pass through an appropriate mourning process. Only by processing the experience over a realistic period of time is healing possible.

Over the next few months, I’ll touch upon the most common types of trauma and the ones I see most frequently in my practice. You can also read a longer version of this article on Examiner, Psychology Today, and Womens Radio (published 3/3/10).

Your Inner Child

Many of us have a younger part within us, also called the “inner child”, that has not been heard, seen, or treated the way it wanted or hoped for in her/his live. As a result, whether it is an inner child, adolescent, or younger adult, feelings of being ignored, abandoned, or not loved may be retained. The memories of these unresolved feelings are carried into our adult life and often become buried in the subconscious. However, the younger part within us remains waiting to be found, to be listened to and to be nurtured, and keeps acting out in attempt to be discovered and attended to.

Anna described having a deep sense of loneliness and struggling with depression. When she searched for the answers of where these feelings originated, she discovered her 9 year old inner child. Her little girl was feeling lonely, bored, and sad, waiting in her room for her mother to arrive from work, even though she knew she was going to be yelled at. Her mother was working many hours and wrapped in her fatigue and worries, she became blind to what her daughter needed. During this time this young girl came to a few conclusions and beliefs about herself, her parents, and the world around her. One conclusion was that she had to stay busy to distract from her pain; the other decision she made was that she needed to please her mother as much as she could in hope to be loved in return. A pattern of having to please everyone and staying busy had been ingrained to the current day and she eventually forgot where these habits were coming from.

Anna decided to contact her “inner child” and began to have age appropriately conversations with her. These dialogues felt strange at first and building a connection between the inner child and the adult took time and trust, and did not go smoothly in the beginning. But after a while, they both formed a beautiful relationship in which little Anna was finally heard and was able to express herself. Although Anna’s work did not change her childhood, it changed her habits and perceptions because she recognized that her habits were coping techniques that had no functions anymore. She also realized that loneliness was an old feeling that lingered inside of her and unconsciously colored most of her experiences. As her relationship with herself improved, so did her feelings of lonesomeness, her relationships with others and the world around her changed in return.

Depending on children’s ages they do not always interpret their environment and parents’ actions correctly. When connecting to the younger part, false memories can be uncovered and give the inner child a chance to understand and make sense of something that was misunderstood in the past. For example, a pregnant mother told the story of her 4 year old daughter Sophia who believed that she no longer was needed because her sister was going to be born in a few months. In a straightforward way Sophia claimed that it wouldn’t matter if she died. The surprised mother told her that it would matter and that she is the best thing that ever happened to her. Her daughter replied “but you have Mikaela now”, to which she explained that Mikaela could never replace her and that she could love both of them. Children are not always able to make sense of their situation the way an adult can and therefore sometimes form beliefs that are not based on reality but their conceptual ability.

Many leading authors such as John Bradshaw, Erika J. Chopich and Margaret Paul, Whitfield and 12 step programs have written about the importance of building a relationship with the “inner child” and found that it can help with many issues including loneliness, fears, depression and raising confidence. The journey of discovering younger parts within us can be surprising and awkward at first but may also be very rewarding.

Dr. Babbel:

I often ask my clients who suffer from depression and/or anxiety to get a neurotransmitter test to make sure their concerns are not based on some kind of nutritional deficits. Could you briefly explain 1) what neurotransmitters and Beta Endorphins are, 2) how they relate to depression and anxiety and 3) what to look for in a neurotransmitter test?

Barbara Clark:

Neurotransmitters:
The center of the nervous system is the brain, which contains over 100 billion specialized cells called neurons. The nervous system also contains very important chemical messengers called neurotransmitters. The brain uses neurotransmitters to tell the heart to beat, the lungs to breathe, and the stomach to digest. Neurotransmitters are also necessary for thought processes, emotions, and other essential body functions including sleep, energy, and fear.

Depressive and anxiety disorders are among the most common neurotransmitter-related conditions. Neurotransmitters are chemicals that relay signals between nerve cells, called “neurons”. They are present throughout the body and are required for proper brain and body functions. Serious health problems, including depression and anxiety, can occur when neurotransmitter levels are too high or too low.

Every neurotransmitter behaves differently. Some neurotransmitters are inhibitory and tend to calm, while others are excitatory and stimulate the brain. Deficiencies involving the central nervous system’s neurotransmitters – serotonin and norepinephrine- appear to be involved in the development of depressive disorders. Disruptions in other neurotransmitters, like GABA (the central nervous system’s primary inhibitory neurotransmitter), epinephrine, glutamate and histamine may be associated with anxiety disorders.

Environmental and biological factors – including stress, poor diet, neurotoxins, or genetics – can cause imbalances in the levels of neurotransmitter chemicals in the brain. These imbalances can trigger or exacerbate depressive symptoms.

Endorphins:
Endorphins are endogenous opioid polypeptide compounds. They are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus in vertebrates during strenuous exercise, excitement, pain and orgasm and they resemble the opiates in their abilities to produce analgesia and a sense of well being. Endorphins work as “natural pain relievers “and they are actually a complex of at least fifteen potent brain and body chemicals that all amplify pleasure and make pain tolerable. Endorphin depletion is caused by physical or emotional pain, or both.  You could have been born with an endorphin deficiency, too much stress may drain the endorphins, and typically women have lower endorphin levels than men. Taking a supplemental blend of the 9 essential amino acids under the supervision of a health care provider, a good multivitamin, B vitamins and eating a protein-rich diet (proteins are precursors to amino-acids) can help get the endorphins into a more balanced state. Ideally these steps need to be supervised by an appropriate health care provider.

Neurotransmitter test:
There are laboratories who do urine testing for neurotransmitter (Neuro Science, www.neuroRelief.com) and there are laboratories who have testing available for blood platelet serotonin and catecholamines

(Vitamin Diagnostics) www.integrativepsychiatry.net/blood_platelet_neurotransmitter_test.html