Incest as a form of abuse can be challenging to define, as it differs from culture to culture. Perceptions of incest vary across societies, and the degree of taboo around incest—not to mention the legal ramifications—depends largely on where you are from. In some cultures (and eras), marrying your first cousin is a perfectly acceptable practice.
In this article we’ll focus on the contemporary Western attitude toward and definition of incest. According to Incest: The Nature and Origin of the Taboo, by Emile Durkheim (tr.1963), “The incest taboo is and has been one of the most common of all cultural taboos, both in current nations and many past societies.”
Incest is a type of sexual abuse that can (but does not always) include sexual intercourse, sexually inappropriate acts, or the abuse of power based on sexual activity between blood relatives. The important thing to remember is that incest is a form of sexual abuse. As a form of abuse, it is highly damaging to a child’s psyche and most often results in prolonged Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
Feminist.com says that “Incest and sexual abuse of children take many forms and may include sexually suggestive language; prolonged kissing, looking, and petting; vaginal and/or anal intercourse; and oral sex. Because sexual contact is often achieved without overt physical force, there may be no obvious signs of physical harm.”
Incest is a reprehensible form of abuse not just because it is cloaked in shame and stigma, but because this type of sexual abuse (like many other types of abuse, unfortunately) affects young victims by implicating and damaging their primary support system. This can be very confusing for children who have been taught to be wary of strangers, but to trust in family. Because they are in the beginning stages of developing their value systems and trust models, the betrayal of incest can be utterly confusing, if not permanently damaging, to a child’s delicate psyche.
Statistics
The statistics on incest are extremely difficult to pinpoint because most cases of incest are never reported due to the intense level of shame associated with this type of sexual abuse. Aside from the misdirected shame that victims of incest often feel, there is increased pressure to keep it a secret because of fear of disrupting the family dynamic or experiencing blame or anger from other family members. However, it’s believed that the most common form of incest happens between older male relatives and younger females.
How incest PTSD manifests
PTSD as a result of incest can result in a variety of coping mechanisms including:
- Self-injury
- Substance abuse
- Eating disorders
- Issues with disassociation
- Promiscuity
How to handle a suspected case of incest
The most important thing to remember when dealing with those who have suffered incest (especially if the victim is yourself) is that shame and guilt, while a common response, is not an appropriate one. The biggest immediate help you can offer to a victim of incest is to listen with respect and compassion… and belief. In other words, the first step is always to believe the victim.
RAINN (The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) has a protocol in terms of who a victim can feel safe reporting an incest situation to:
- A parent
- A teacher
- A school counselor
- A friend’s parent
- Your doctor
- Your minister (or pastor, priest, rabbi, imam, etc.)
To report suspected incest to authorities, call Child Protective Services (see this directory: http://www.rainn.org/public-policy/legal-resources/mandatory-reporting-database)
How to report child abuse and incest: http://www.americanhumane.org/about-us/newsroom/fact-sheets/reporting-child-abuse-neglect.html
I am a 47 yr old women with three children my oldest now 28 and when he was 4 he was sexually abused by his aunt — my sister — although I could never really approach her — with this subject because of my mothers constant abusive attitude towards me I feel still resentful and hurt and after all these years ( well I found out when my son was 14 he told me then) I wonder how to deal with as many things have hurt me over the years with this issue. Is there any help or internet information I could read about as I feel very isolated not understanding this
Hello,
I know this sounds horrible and frightening but I highly recommend that you both-your son and you-report your sister to the child protective services. Even though it has been a long time, perpetrators don’t usually stop and continue to abuse others. I have had clients where their sibling turned out to have abused pretty much every cousin and relative he could get his hands on. They just never found out because most people don’t talk about it. Please, check in with your other children as well.
Additionally, it would be good for you both to go to a therapist who specializes in trauma as well. Books can help (and I would read as much as you can) to speed up the healing process and help you understand your trauma but they usually don’t work by themselves efficiently enough.
I support you in confronting your sister if it is safe and if you have no expectations on how she will respond. Most often, perpetrators have no idea that they did anything wrong or even act as if they don’t remember. Often they were abused themselves and think this is normal. If she thought that there was something wrong, she would have looked for help.
Let me know if there is anything else I can help you with.
Just know it is possible to heal from all this. You will always remember what happened but the pain and the symptoms can be reduced and/or disappear.
Warmly,
Dr. Susanne Babbel
http://www.bodyconversations.com